[Kitsumi]

This roleplay will most likely contain topics such as self-harm, suicide, child abuse, etc. It will also definitely contain foul language, so please don't read if any of the above topics disturb or distress you. Thanks.

   
Kitsumi Mahon

Why was she here, again? Oh, that’s right. Everything in her life had crumbled, and she was caught in this swirling whirlpool of despair. Except, she didn’t want it to be that way. So she had come to the concert tonight, at the request of a couple of friends. Their band was playing, and she was supposed to come and be supportive.

Well, she was here. She was being supportive. She was also barely holding back her tears, but no one would be able to notice. Her hood, pulled up so that barely any of her face was showing, guaranteed that. It cast a shadow over what could be seen of her face, so no one would see the tears that were threatening to spill over. No one would see the hurt that she bore inside, and the fact that she wasn’t even sure she wanted to live anymore.

[Jedi]

Jedediah Mahon

Backstage was cluttered with instruments. Several drums laid across the room, tens of guitars and basses sitting on stands, and a couple of electric keyboards sitting on the stands. The rec room was loud with the static chatter of the crowd. Jedediah was tuning his bass, making sure he was ready for the show. The band was playing first, so there was no need for mistakes. After tuning up the last string, he started playing out a tune for practice.

After a quick rehearsal of the song list, he started playing random songs he’d learned before. He saw the irritated, slightly entertained, looks on his band members’ faces and couldn’t help but smirk. “Okay Jed, stop fooling around. It’s time to go on stage,” The lead guitarist said. They carried the instruments on stage and set them all up. After a sound check, they’d be playing soon.

[Kitsumi]

As her friends (and a band member or two she didn’t know) stepped onto the stage, Kitsumi began waving wildly. Cullen, the lead singer and guitarist who had invited her, grinned. His girlfriend India, the drummer, waved back while Cassidy, who did vocals and some guitar part that Kitsumi wasn’t so sure on (she still didn’t know everything about the band) came over to the edge of the stage to hug her. Kitsumi said a hurried ‘good luck’ with a pasted on smile, glad that her hood and cheery act had successfully hidden her true feelings from her friends.

She glanced at the other band members – one with curly black hair whose name she couldn’t remember, and the bassist, whom she had met once before. When her eyes settled on him, she suddenly felt a strange little flutter. The first time they had met, he had been listening to music. Kitsumi, in an attempt to impress him, had sang her best, and they had talked until her ride had come and she was forced to leave. He wore the same red jacket that he had worn then, and Kitsumi wondered if he would remember her. Probably not. But she certainly remembered him. Something about him had drawn her in from the very beginning. Obviously, she was crushing.

[Jedi]

The crowd was thick, but Jed could see some of the faces. Before he could take in all the details, however, Cullen started announcing the band and its members to the people packing the room. When introduced, Jed just showed that same fake smile he always showed when he felt nervous. Even though he'd joined the band monthes ago, he still felt awkward being displayed in front of people. He wasn't bold enough for the spotlight, but maybe that's why he was playing bass and not guitar. Just hiding in the background, trying not to be heard or seen. He tried to distract himself by focusing on the neck of the bass in his hands, so he would at least be able to play. After the songs were over and they started moving their instruments for the next band, Jed couldn't help but feel like he was being watched. He saw a familiar face in the crowd, but couldn't quite place the name. He made a mental note to try talking to her later, when his nerves weren't too racked from playing on stage. But for now, he had to help with moving the drumset.

[Kitsumi]

The band was good - they were still just starting out so sure there were a few kinks, but Kitsumi could tell that the crowd liked them. As the next band started setting up, Kitsumi wondered if she would be allowed backstage. She started edging towards the door leading backstage, but paused at the entryway. She wanted to peek in, but was afraid that someone would see her.

"Umm, Kitsumi? What the heck are you doing?" She whirled around in time to see Chris, Cassidy's boyfriend, standing there looking at her strangely. He technically wasn't in the band, but he was the one who helped out with all the technical, sound-booth stuff. Before Kitsumi could find a sheepish reply, he added, "You know that you can come backstage, right? You're practically family to half of us back there, so come on back. If anyone asks, just say you're a roadie." He laughed, and so did Kitsumi. She started to feel less alone, and the depression lightened slightly. Only slightly, though. It was an ever-present aspect of her life, and would probably never leave for very long.

Walking backstage, Kitsumi wasn't really watching where she was going. She tripped over someone's outstretched leg, and tumbled over, knocking over a microphone stand, and falling to the ground. Face burning and blushing bright red, she could barely see all the faces staring at her through her tears. Too embarrassed to face anyone, she ran out - out of the room, and out of the building, towards the parking lot. Then, she crumpled against the outside of the building with her head in her hands, knees drawn up to her chest, crying.

She always did something foolish like that. She always made a spectacle of herself.

No wonder everyone left her.

[Jedi]

The stress took more of a toll than Jed thought. His mind was aching from having to deal with both the massive amounts of people, the loud vibrations of the instruments and the heat from the ceiling lights aimed at the stage. He wanted to see who the familiar face was, but his energy was faded. He set his bass in the ripping carrying case he always brought with him. "You were good out there, man," Cullen said, trying to cheer him up. "I sucked," Jed replied. "No, you were awesome, man. You killed." Jed wasn't in the mood to listed or argue. He just leaned against the wall and slumped towards the floor, until his legs were completely outstretched.

He rested his eyes for a full thirty seconds before he felt something kick his leg. "Ah," he said shooting his eyes fully open just in time to see the figure of a girl falling to the ground. "Are you okay?" Jed asked, worried about her. She didn't respond almost as if she didn't even hear. He tried asking again, "I'm so sorry, are you okay?" only to see her get up off the ground and head for the door. He ran after her, appologizing all the way. After searching the room for her, he deducted that she must've left. He ran outside trying to see if he could catch her before she left.

Then he saw her. She was curled up in a ball with her back against the building. He walked up to her and sat next to her. He thought talking right away would only hurt her more, so he just sat there quietly for a couple minutes. He wanted to help her feel more comfortable, so he took off his red hoodie and placed it around her shoulders, saying "I'm sorry about what happened in there. Are you okay? My names Jed."

[Kitsumi]

Kitsumi couldn't think, almost couldn't breathe. She just kept thinking about the way she had tripped, the microphone stand falling, the loud noise, everyone looking at her. And worst of all, she remembered the face of the guy who she had tripped over...it had been him. Jed. The one that she had tried to hard to impress, the one that she was crushing on, the one who probably didn't remember her singing voice, but would now forever remember her as a klutz. He was probably back in the building, being flirted with by some of the girls who had thought that he was so good-looking. He was probably...

To her astonishment, he suddenly came rushing out the door. He looked around, and then his eyes fell on her and he moved towards her. Kitsumi quickly glued her eyes to her black, green and white skater shoes and pulled her knees tighter against her chest, trying to appear as small as possible. Even though he had already seen her, part of her wanted to vanish, disappear before he could talk to her.

As he sat next to her, Kitsumi felt the strange urge to lean her head on his shoulder. It seemed like it would be comforting, and his shoulder was already just barely touching hers. But she couldn't do it...they barely even knew each other! Kitsumi quickly tried to wipe the tears away, but only managed to smear her eyeliner and make herself look worse. She shivered slightly, and as if on cue, Jed was already taking off his jacket and draping it around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she whispered. "And I know who you are. We met at the Skillet concert, remember? No, you probably wouldn't remember me. I'm Kitsumi." She let her dyed-red hair fall into her eyes, trying to shield as much of her as possible from his gaze. "What are you doing out here anyways? Aren't your adoring fans going to miss you?"

[Jedi]

"It's nice to meet you Kitsumi. Even better the second time. I think I remember the concert." he said, trying to recall the event that was only a couple monthes earlier. "I'm sorry, but I have terrible memory. I can't  even remember what I ate this morning." She tried shrugging him off, saying he might be needed elsewhere, to which he replied, "What adoring fans? I sucked in there. I must've messed up like fifteen times on stage. Besides, I want to make sure you were all right. I really need to be more carefull where I lay down." He pulled out a sky blue bandana and began to wipe away the smeared eye liner. "You see, I'm auditioning for the part in a local play, as the guy who trips a beautiful girl." he said to her, hoping to get her to smile. "So would you like to talk?"

[Kitsumi]

Well, at least he kinda remembered her. He apparently didn't remember too much...but then again, neither did Kitsumi. Still, she had to ask, "Do you remember after the concert? We were sitting at one of those glass tables and singing Black Veil Brides..." She let the sentence trail off without an official end and added, "Never mind. I just remember every little thing. I don't expect you to remember."

She quickly shook her head when he tried dissing his performance at the concert. "What? No! You were great. I could never play bass, or guitar, or anything other than the piano." She sighed. "I tried learning guitar once, but...well, my grandfather who had "given" me the guitar as a Christmas present ended up deciding that he wanted it back. So now even if I wanted to really learn, I would have no way to learn. You're lucky. I'd kill to have your talents."

Kitsumi was surprised when he said that he had come out to make sure she was okay. Of course she had guessed that this was the reason since he was sitting here by her, but hearing him say it was unexpected. "Well...I'm okay. At least, okay as I'll ever be." She pulled his jacket closer around her, but froze as she felt his bandana near her eyes. She realized that he was wiping away the mascara, and it was such a tender and sweet gesture that she began to cry all over again. "I...I'm sorry. I'm just not used to people treating me this well. I've...met my fair share of jerks, I guess."

Not sure whether he was calling her beautiful or not with his next comment, she didn't say anything but allowed herself to giggle a tiny bit. Raising one eyebrow, she added, "Aren't we talking now? Although I really don't understand why you'd want to. Is sitting here in the cold really worth it?"

[Jedi]

"I think I do remember. I saw your BVB wallet so I played the acoustic version of Knives and Pens off my phone. Alone at last..." He started singing, wondering if she might join in. "That's messed up. What kind of person takes back a gift. especially one of his own. I guess we are talking. And of course it's worth it." He sat silently thinking, then stated  "So you say you wanna learn to play guitar? I'll teach you guitar, if you come backstage with me. But there's a catch. You gotta teach me to play piano." He stood up, then extended his hand, offering help up, and asked "Do we got a deal?"

He dragged her through the crowd, not sure if he was going too fast, or her too slow. "Come on, it'll be fun," he said, pulling by her sleeve-wrapped wrist. "Where is it," he said panning the room with his eyes. After finally finding his target, he let go of her wrist and walked over to it, stating "There it is." He wrapped his boney, yet thick fingers around the neck and picked up the Hohner acoustic guitar his dad gave him. "Come on, I'll teach you..."

[Kitsumi]

Surprised to hear that he did indeed remember her, Kitsumi smiled even as she sniffled a bit. Wiping away the last of her tears, she quietly began singing along with him. "We can sit and fight. And I've lost all faith in this blurring light." She had to pause as the next lyrics were screamed in the song, and her vocals weren't meant for that kind of thing - she was a singer, not a screamer. She allowed the song to die down, a shy smile on her lips as she wondered if Jed liked her singing or not.

Once again he surprised her as he offered to teach her to play guitar. Kitsumi thought about it for a moment, tentative. It wasn't the first time someone had said they would teach her, and then instead they conveniently 'forgot' the offer or simply avoided her to keep from having to fulfill the obligation. "Well...if you really wanted to teach me, I'd love to learn. And I'm not the best teacher - not very patient - but I'll teach you piano to the best of my abilities. Pinky promise?" She allowed him to help her up and then held out her pinky, realizing that it was probably incredibly silly and childish, but hoping that he wouldn't judge her for it. In reality, Kitsumi was still a childish person. She had only been an adult for a year or so after all. And seeing as how her childhood hadn't been the best...well, she wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. As long as she able to act maturely when the situation demanded it, she didn't see a problem with it.

Kitsumi hadn't expected so much enthusiasm from him, but she couldn't help but like the feeling of his hand around her wrist as he led her backstage. Sure, it would have been better had he grabbed her hand, but this was nice too, and she found herself holding back a little bit, trying to prolong the feeling. He picked up the guitar, and Kitsumi stood and watched. "I...I don't think I'll be very good. I don't even know how to hold a guitar correctly."

[Jedi]

He swung the guitar around to where it was facing him and walked towards her. "Just hold the neck in your off hand. If you're left handed, hold it in your right, and if your right handed, hold it in your left. With your main hand, you pluck the strings. Speaking of which, do you want to use a pick or not?" he said as he pulled a couple guitar picks out of his pocket.

"I think you're getting the hang of it," Jed said after fourty-five minutes of teaching. "If I teach you everyday we see each other, You'd probably get even better than me. Is there any way you'd wanna maybe hang out on a weekly basis?" He said, trying to ensure he'd get to see her again. He did want to teach her, but something inside him just wanted to see her again. "And if there's ever a song I play that you wanna learn, you can just ask. Do you want me to teach you a song at the moment? Wait, I have a song that I know you'll love." He picked up his own electric BC Rich Warlock guitar and started tuning it to the drop D tuning. He then slowly started playing a small riff, after saying "Just repeat after me." His pick slowly plucked to the tune of Never Too Late by Three Days Grace.

[Kitsumi]

Even after nearly an hour of playing, Kitsumi felt completely hopeless on the guitar. Sure, it was easy enough to remember which strings to play, and when. But holding them down was starting to kill her fingers. She had opted to play without a pick; in the short time she had began to learn with the guitar that her grandpa had given her, she had always preferred finger picking. Her fingers were already sore though, and the sounds that she was making with the guitar weren't nearly as clean and nice as Jed's.

Groaning, Kitsumi shook her head. "What are you talking about? I suck!" When he asked about hanging out, Kitsumi froze up. Images flashed through her head of the last person she had hung out with, the one that she had devoted nearly a year of her life to, and the one who had secretly hurt her more deeply than she had ever thought possible. But Jed was different in so many ways - her ex hadn't shared her beliefs and morals the way that Jed seemed to. And besides, pretty much all of their mutual friends were able to vouch for the fact that Jed was one of those 'perfect' kids - no drinking, no smoking, no swearing, no lying, no stealing, no acts of rebellion. She felt as if she could trust him.

"Well, sure, that would be great. My mom teaches a class on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Any of those days I could get a ride into town with her and we could hang out." When he began playing Never Too Late, Kitsumi's face broke into a huge smile. "Ooh, I love this song!" Instead of trying to follow along on guitar, Kitsumi found herself singing the words.

"This world will never be what I expected. And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it."

[Jedi]

Jed admired her for her ability to play guitar using her fingers. He himself could only play one song without a pick, and not even half of it. He noticed her struggling to hold the strings to the fretboard and related it to just how hard it was for him when he started to learn. She was at least less willing to set the guitar down as when he first learned. Hearing her put herself down made him encourage her, letting him say "You do not suck. You're actually way ahead of when I started playing. Just give it a couple months."

He felt encouraged to hear Kitsumi singing along as he played, but he felt disappointed when he got to the bridge he didn't yet know how to play. As soon as he got past second chorus, his guitar went silent as he tried remembering how to play it. "I'm sorry, I never learned this part. That's stupid of me, I know."

A minute or two later, Cullen came by to tell Jed "Hey Jed, we gotta pack up the gear and go." Jed nodded to him, saying "Alright, I'll be there in a second." He then turned his attention to Kitsumi, saying "It was fun hanging out. Where would you wanna hang out next Monday? Or are you not available?"

[Kitsumi]

((Yay! First post with her actual form <3 Ain't she purdy?)

Kitsumi may not have believed that Jed was correct in saying that she didn't suck, but it was nice of him to say. It certainly wasn't true that she was any better than him than he was when he was learning - or so she assumed - but the compliment made her blush. "You're sweet. Thanks for teaching me, and for letting me use your guitar. And for encouraging me when I feel like I'm doing horrible."

For a brief moment, Kitsumi's voice continued even while the music had stopped, as she hadn't expected the sudden pause. Blushing furiously, Kitsumi quickly shut her mouth and hoped he hadn't heard. "Oh, it's alright. I'm just amazed you can play that well at all! And trust me, I understand. I have several songs that I only know how to play half of them on the piano."

Cullen soon appeared, and Kitsumi felt a slight sinking in her heart as she knew that Jed would soon be leaving. A smile crossed her face, though, as he clearly indicated a desire to see her again. "I'll probably be free Monday. Here, let's exchange numbers. We can text if you want, and then I'll be able to let you know whether or not I'll be able to hang out Monday. If so, we could hang out at the park in town. Maybe browse the library and I can show you a few good books, if you like reading that is."